My Daughter was bullied at school by another student in her second grade class. As a concerned parent, I requested a meeting with the classroom teacher, principal, and vice- principal. While I was walking out of the meeting, I considered that experience to be my worst mistake. It felt like I was lectured by an automatic prerecorded answering service. I understand teacher/ school had lots of other issues to deal with but I expected more presence of compassion.
THEN IT HIT ME!
No one else knows her child better than a MOTHER!
I quickly went to work on “bully-proofing” my daughter…
- I became her first BFF (best friend forever) – I wanted to role model how a true BFF should act. I listened to her and validated her feelings.
- We had lots of girl talks and mommy & daughter play dates – we did lots of role-play where I pretended to be a bully. I used lots of words of encouragement so she can maintain her self-esteem and kept her away from thoughts of self-doubt
- I looked for a pattern – I noticed my daughter opened up and shared her feelings lot more when we were conducting certain routine. We kept that time slot free so she can speak and share her feelings comfortably. I wanted her to feel that her voice can be heard and develop her confidence.
- I gave her frequent actions of love and called her my Champion at least 10 times a day.
- We came up with 3 step process for “Bully – Be – GONE”
1. Nicely say the things that are bothering you
2. Get grownup’s attention
3. Walk away and stay close to other children/ friends
My Child’s Measurable Difference in Performance
- She is more focused in class.
- She is more eager to go to school.
- She has lot more courage – she reports to me that she talks to the child’s mother after school when ever there is a conflict.
- She shows more emotional intelligence – she understands what other child is feeling and tries to come to more resourceful compromise.